He left a condom in my vagina – Dolly Thobega

"last year I was on a 4-month treatment because a man I loved decided to leave a condom in me and didn't tell me" read a tweet in a startling thread by Dolly Thobega.

According to Dr. Dweck, if a guy loses his erection while his penis is inside his partner's vagina, the condom can slip off, fold up, and become stuck high inside her body. It can actually stay there without her noticing—sometimes for days. This problem is much more common than you think. Several women commented under Dolly’s thread to say that they too, had gone through a similar experience.

Dolly Thobega, a 22-year-old international relations and BA Honors graduate, born in North West Mafikeng & raised in Gauteng, Soweto took to the streets of twitter to openly share her story on the costs and implications of having a condom stuck in her vagina for 48 hours. I asked if I could get more insight into the story, to share with young women like you, on the grueling experience, and the R 6000 treatment which included a colonoscopy.

Dolly had contracted a bladder infection since the condom had been inside her vagina for longer than 48 hours, and after taking antibiotics she developed ringworms due to an allergic reaction. Later on, she developed hemorrhoids which she had to treat by sticking pills up her ass, twice a day, and even that didn't work. The pressure she experienced from not being able to take a shit gave her anal fissure. To top it all off she had a recurring bladder infection.

I asked her how the treatment process affected her relationship, she said: “I was still with my ex even while I was still on treatment and that meant no sex for the entire treatment period of 4 months. The first month I wasn’t supposed to have sex at all because that would’ve hindered the process so we didn’t & I hated it because we were both very sexual beings. A relationship without sex (for me) was tragic so I hated even being around him because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him. Even after the treatment when we did have sex, sometimes it was painful so we’d have to stop. I would legit cry because something I loved doing was painful. I started to hate sex because it was painful so we just tried to have as little to none of it at all”

Naturally, the infection also affected Dolly’s social life.  She hated going out because she’d suddenly have excruciating pain and cry. To avoid putting herself through that, she opted not to go.

I asked her if she had had a support system since she’d tweeted that none of her friends had known why she was going for treatments.  “I didn’t tell anyone because I loved my then-boyfriend and I knew telling people would mean that everyone would hate him. I didn’t want that so I kept it to myself. I didn’t really get much support from anyone really because I went to the treatments alone, paid for the money alone, and experienced everything alone. He did try being there for me but I felt like it wasn’t as much as I needed him. I’d have loved it if he’d offered to pay for some of it or even if he had gone to my checkups with me instead, I was alone.”

“Young women definitely need to be more educated. People asked me how I didn’t feel it so many times but you really don’t, just like you don’t feel the tampon when it’s inside. My symptoms were intense abdominal pains and painfulness peeing. I’d pee blood not understanding why until I decided to take a mirror and have a look. And there it was, a tiny small plastic. I freaked out because at that point my vagina was inflamed and I was peeing blood so having to pull out a condom on top of the existing symptoms was a mess.”

Women should talk about their experiences because you never know whom you’re helping. Trust me, it’s embarrassing to know that everyone knows I had a condom in me for 2 days but, it’s taught people to CHECK. The more women speak on their experiences, the more they get to help other women and raise awareness on things that don’t seem possible (like having a condom left behind after sex). 

I asked her what words of advice would she give to young women who are sexually active:
“Always use protection. Never trust someone fully with your body & always be aware. Women that are sexually active need to educate themselves on infections that occur from sex. Everyone knows the STI’s but bladder infections, yeast infections and UTI’s are things that aren’t fully known or understood so women really, really need to educate themselves on those. Lastly, STI screenings are crucial because you can get an STI from giving head!” 🍆🍆

I asked her how she is feeling after everything that occurred, she said “I deal with things by myself pretty well. I didn’t have money for therapy then so I was forced to do it myself. It showed me that I’m really everything I need and healing comes from within. I guess I just had to let go of the resentment towards him and his negligence of my health and thereafter everything just happened. The more I healed physically was the more I healed emotionally, especially forgiving him because I have.”

We hope we’ve inspired you to learn more about your vagina and the possible infections that can occur when you are sexually active. While it is your sexual partner's responsibility to let you know if the condom has come off, always remember to check.

If you have any personal experiences you’d like to share, do so. Be brave and be bold, even if it's under an anonymous account. Like Dolly’s said, you never know who needs to read your story. 

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